Hello there darling, sit close and lean in.

My name is Carla Golden and I’d like to tell you a beautiful story about boundaries.

When I was 9 years old I was raped. For reasons unclear to me then and now, this family crisis was minimized and ignored. I learned growing up that I was most valued and praised for keeping quiet, having few needs and behaving perfectly.

Click: Healing Old Emotional Trauma with Food

My boundaries had been stripped away, my self-worth whittled down to nothing and I started on a lonely path to near self-destruction. I become violently bulimic as a teenager, sexually promiscuous and married impulsively. I felt that people were only nice to me because they wanted something from me and I gave them whatever they wanted so that they wouldn’t abandon me.

I trusted no one but myself yet still lacked any real confidence. I feared the world and my ability to survive in it.

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Slowly, as I neared 30 years old, I began to know myself for the first time. I looked inside and I started to think about who I was, what I wanted and what mattered to me. For so long I lived from the outside in, and for the first time I began to live from the inside out. I started learning how to project myself into the world.

I divorced my husband and began a relationship with myself. I realized that my worth was not defined by others and what I could do or be for them, but rather that my worth was defined by me. I made a lot of progress, got remarried, had a baby, then went back to work.

Like you, I am a healer by nature. I came to the profession of massage therapy, as many of us do, as a person longing to help and soothe others. I loved the feeling of being needed and liked how it felt when I took care of others. I was good at it because being a giver came naturally to me though I felt constantly threatened of losing myself again. The more I gave, the more I feared I would run out of love, care, time, energy or interest.

You and I both know how exhausting, depleting and discouraging it can become being everything for everyone else but ourselves. As a wife, a mother and a massage therapist I knew in my heart that I could not keep up this life of dedicated service without having a complete breakdown or develop a grand sense of resentment and regret.

I had made progress, but it wasn’t enough. Moments of near-meltdown would build and threaten my marriage, my wellbeing and my work. I didn’t want to start over again and I felt willing to try anything to salvage and continue my progress.

That “anything” found me. I have a passion for nutrition and while in school for my holistic health degree, I learned to eat differently – differently than I had been eating and vastly differently from the way others around me were eating. I felt myself start to shift at a cellular level unexpectedly.

A deep strength in me started to emerge, and I liked it. I went deeper. I refined my diet further and life became more clear to me. I fully woke up to myself. My power become self-evident. I became what I was eating: living, clean, high energy, simple, delicious food. I committed to myself, I went full in, studied and examined it all. I changed. My life changed.  The way I viewed myself and my place in this world changed.

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I began to treat myself with full loving respect and kindness. I knew that my happiness was in my control. I protected the health and wellbeing of my body and soul with acute self-care. I learned through food how to nurture myself and call back in my personal boundaries. I treat myself well and the better I treat myself, the better I am treated by others. The more I respect myself, the more I am respected. The greater compassion I have for myself, the gentler I am with others.

I have elevated the way I genuinely care for myself by placing myself as a high priority. Not only have I made peace with food, it has become the platform through which I nourish my highest, most powerful and useful self. My diet has become my medium for spiritual, personal and professional growth. I am a better wife, mother, healer, friend and person because of my food journey.

Click: My Not-So-Sexy Road to Wellness

I can safely extend my love to others without feeling reduced by giving because my boundaries are strong. Caring for others augments my existence, worth and purpose. My healing energy is stronger and clearer and I am a better healer because I have taken the time to learn how to feed myself with the loving care that I had needed all along. Life is safe now. I feel that I have found the secret to living a strong life full of passion, possibility & purpose.

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I’d love for you to join me on this path. Are you ready? I can show you the way. xo-Carla.

PS – My friend Ko-Shin wanted to learn more about The Healers Diet and created a video interview with me. You can watch it below to learn more about what motivates & inspires me and about my work as a healer.